Before I Let You Go

Listen. This book isn’t for everybody, but I believe that it is for couples out there who are at the point where they are ready to walk away, call it quits, have contemplated the dreaded "D Word", have lost hope, or who can't get on the same page after trying everything.

I know how you feel. In 2018, one night I asked my husband, "do you even want to be married?". He replied, "I don't know." <Insert heartbreak music here> I was crushed hearing those words. I had a great husband! We had a healthy marriage. How did we get here? How are we to the point where we are thinking about parting ways? Why aren't we able to talk this out? Why does it seem like the more we try to fix things, the worse things get? These were the questions that ran through my mind as tears ran down my face and as he sat with a look in his eyes that lacked hope and solution. 

Coming from a context where 'what goes on in this house stays in this house' was the standard, we suffered in silence. In a world where social media is a supreme leader in how information gets communicated to the masses, and how we often get our frequent updates on what's going on in the lives of our loved ones and others- social media made us feel like we were literally the only ones married that was currently in a rut and going through it. People don't post or communicate their feelings while they are in the struggle or fight for their lives. You see the victories. You see the wins. You see the smiles. You rarely hear about the losses. You don’t see the struggles. You don't see the tears. So, when you are crying and seemingly everyone else is smiling, it can have a toll on you. You can begin to feel like something is wrong with you. So then, the ugly thoughts start creeping in that lead to hopelessness and defeat. 

In this 5 day journey, I have coined myself as your Certified Hope Dealer. It is my hope that during this journey, I can give you the hope you need to stay in the fight for your marriage and fight with each other instead of against each other. It is my hope that this book will do for you and your marriage what it did for mine. When I was in the season of hopelessness I couldn't find the resource that I needed to get us through. I literally prayed on my way to work with tears in my eyes for God to save my marriage. I went into work that day and sat down at my computer with the intent to write my husband a letter, but God downloaded this idea that turned into a journey and instead I just started typing what came up in my spirit. For 5 days I went into the office and sat down to see what He had for me to write that day. It was literally a divine download. It led to this 5 day journey that brought my husband and I from a conversation about divorce to figuring out how we can make this work. In 5 days God turned it around for us. I know he can do the same for you. Let's take this journey together, are you ready?

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